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Falling (Just random thoughts)

Falling _____________________________
I can't help but constantly compare myself to others. Those who are younger or didn't put in as much effort as me are all surpassing me while I stand where I started. I always blame it on things like silence or laziness but, it's all my stupidity. I don't think like them. In fact, I didn't start thinking until recently. That's how far behind I am.

It hurts me when people, even friends, appear to be so perfect. I'm selfish, envious, and in contradiction, I hate myself. Lists and lists of all my imperfections.

I'm so old yet at the same time, I'm just beginning. I'm waiting and I'm thinking..will I die before I catch up?

I'm putting in effort, or at least I say I am. It's never enough. What am I doing wrong. I'm overwhelmed with ideas that I can't execute, bundling up until I forget them. The time wasted writing this even stresses me. Precious time.. can you go by even faster? Future me, you…

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