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My Last Request

And here I was, complaining about a small wound on my knee, while my best friend has been suffering to the point of attempting to kill herself. I am the horrible friend who kept her secret suicidal thoughts. I am the horrible friend who didn't tell her parents when she bought a pencil sharpener to cut herself. I am the horrible friend who wanted to think that it was all a joke.

But then I think of her words a few months ago:
          "If I ever kill myself, just know that it isn't your fault and that I love you"

She's wrong. It is my fault, not hers.

I was there when she went from sane to suicidal. I only able watch from afar, supporting her choices no matter what. I watched as she gave up on school, love, and living. I watched as she slowly lost all traces of hope and started to cut herself. I wasn't able to heal her or save her.

Dear God, please save my best friend. I'll go to church again. I'll even die for her if I have to. Just save her life pl…

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