Sometimes I tell myself that I'm an expert at being alone and that I'm used to it. I tell myself to smile when my friends leave my side. I tell them they can leave me and without hesitation, they always do. When I see them in the halls, I pretend to not notice. I keep my head low, forever staring at the ground. I pretend that I'm not hurt and that I am merely antisocial. When they cough and laugh as they pass, I keep on walking. I take it as victory on your side. No matter how much I hide, I am always crying inside. Even though it happens so often, I never manage to stay confident.
They lied. They told me I would never walk alone.
Rather than a lie, maybe it's because people change. When they found out how horrible of a person I am, they left rather than accept me for my faults. I know I have a lot of faults, but so do they.
Steps That Write
Love... the imperfect marks it creates in the snow that can never be undone. Its footsteps lead me to different worlds, different people, and different stars. Each impact me in invisible, yet permanent ways. I try to take control of my body, but the movements come naturally. They pull me through the cold winter days, happily.
When spring comes, I find the steps melting away. They slowly disappear along with the beautiful memories they brought. Rain begins to blend with tears. The burning sun surrounds the atmosphere with hate. The once joy filled days transform into fire. Without love's footsteps, I am lost. Everyone is moving forward while I stay back, alone.
But then, I realize why I never moved. Those footsteps I saw on that winter day were never mine, but yours.