Dear Star

Although You Will Never Read This

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Dear Star,

I write when I feel sad or mad and.. I haven't wrote in so long. I was doing so well until someone mentioned your name. I was happy and I didn't feel alone. I was independent and back to my original, optimistic self. Maybe I even fell for someone else. I guess it's because I'm good at hiding my emotions, distracting myself from them.

But still, sometimes throughout the day, I think of random memories we had. Like the time I painted your nails and the time you failed at laser tag. New Year's Eve and Christmas Eve were fun too. I guess they don't really matter too much now.

Just seeing your name makes my heart beat rapidly, and not in a romantic and cute way. I feel suffocated, unable to breathe and... it makes me want to punch something. Is this what hate feels like?

I'm a hypocrite, having hate when I clearly denounced it. I can't control my mind. Ah.. someone make the beating stop. It's too fast. It's controlling my body.

Deep breaths

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Okay, I'm sober now. Writing down things really helps calm me.

Sorry for bringing up this issue again. I know you're happy now with someone else, and I respect that. I think that I am much more happy alone. I haven't cried in so long!

But, you still hurt me and somewhere deep down, you were hurt too (I think..?). Maybe ignoring each other is only a temporary relief and in a few years, we can return to being good friends again. But for now, I think ignoring all signs of you is best for both of us. Forget everything about me and all our memories, and I will too. Let's be happy.

If it was fate that brought us together, then let's let fate finish its story, good or bad.


                                                                                                                                              From,

Liar