The Gumiho Game

ABC's

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I haven't posted in a while because life has been too perfect, and don't get me wrong, it still is. Just once in a while, I meet something that goes against this newly found happiness.

The hate that used to affect me now leaves a large residue. The thing about hate is that it keeps searching for victims, and when it doesn't find one, it comes back to you. It's not that bad this time; I've learned how to accept it over the course of a year. There are just some things I still can't figure out. Why do people hate?  Why do the people who never bothered to get to know me hate me so much?

People are cold, distant, and annoyed like I'm a monster. When one person hates, the rest do too. It's an epidemic.

I just want to be your friend.

Thanks

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This post is long overdue.. I've been keeping it inside for too long. Last year, I made two friends who helped me to recover from the anxiety I got from hate. They support me, love me, and made me into the person I am today. I am forever thankful for them and, I really don't want to leave them when college comes.

I also thank God, for forgiving me when I blamed him for my faults. He gave me hope and He carries me when I go under.

To my family, who I don't treat nearly as well as I should, thank you for taking care of me and spoiling me when I don't deserve it.

The GUMIHO Game

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The same game repeats in a cycle of lies. I'm the Liar.

The game is simple. He comes, I play, and we both lose. Every night I think about ending the game, and other days I embrace it. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore, and although my emotions are far more stable, I'm still scared. I'm trying so hard to not hurt him, but at the same time, I know that I'm causing pain and I love it.